Tell me
by Tanutwo
Summary: I watch you, my eyes devastated to see you kill these people. To take their lives brutally. Natasha/Clint Endgame


**Hi everyone, **

**Important message 1 : **I'm french so, english is my second language. Sorry for that... And I'm looking for a beta reader (if you are interrested, don't hesitate to send me a message, thanks :D).

**Message important 2 :** This music is Florent Pagny - N'importe quoi.

_**Enjoy !**_

* * *

_Tell me, why are you like this?_  
_Why aren't you all right?_  
_Why don't you try ?_  
_Why don't you want to?_

I watch you, my eyes devastated to see you kill these people. To take their lives brutally.

I watch you attentively, silently and my heart is tightening. I feel your distress. Your anger. Your pain. And I suddenly feel bad about letting you face the death of your family alone. For not supporting you earlier.

The years have passed.

You look different. Bruised. And you tell me, without even looking back, that I don't belong here. I tell myself that on the contrary, I have everything to do there. But since you're not ready to hear it, I'm just saying that neither are you.

You turn around and I approach slowly, painful face to see you suffer so much.

Carefully, I take your hand. Relieved to see that you are not rejecting me, I smile slightly.

The years have passed. But our friendship remains unchanged.

_Tell me, why are you smiling?_  
_And why are you crying?_  
_Why do you want to do that?_  
_And why are you afraid?_

You agree to follow me to our headquarters without hesitation. The features of your face are hard and marked by the tiredness of the revenge you have embarked on.

I detail you and I sit beside you. You seem to approve. Appreciate.

Without me asking you to, the voice tied by grief, you entrust me :

"I'll never see them again. »

_Tell me, why are you saying that?_  
_Why don't you believe it?_  
_Why don't you believe it anymore?_  
_Why don't you know more?_

There is a way, though. I'm telling you, I'm not kidding. That there's hope and that's why I came to get you. Because I need you.

Your septic look informs me that you don't believe it.

Seriously, I'm trying to explain the plan to you.

As the words cross my lips, I guess it boils down to madness. Yet you listen to me until the end... And yet you still don't seem convinced.

Finally at HQ, you offer yourself to try time travel and no one stops you. Especially not me. I know how much you want to see if this is possible and how much you want to see your family again. Even one last time.

Anxious, I see you evaporate.

You come back after ten seconds, your face absolutely turned upside down, your body almost exhausted. I'm running to you and I wonder if it was finally a good idea to send you.

_See, you can't find your street anymore._  
_You lost the floor._  
_I think you're lost._  
_You don't walk, you swim._

You're more affected than I had thought. You tighten the leather glove with such force that your knuckles turn white. But thanks to this and thanks to you, we now know that the plan can work.

Your eyes light up when you tell me you heard your daughter's voice. I finally find the old Clint.

The final preparations are done quickly and we decide on the teams. My joy is immense when our two first names are mentioned. We are gathered for one last final mission.

You give me a little nod of satisfaction, almost cheerful, to let me know that it suits you too.

However, I know you and it allows me to see your determined face that you are trying to hide me. I know you'll do anything to succeed and I'm suddenly scared. I decide to keep it to myself and not show it as we sit on the stage.

All in a circle, I hear you discreetly say "Whatever it costs us," before you press the button.

My vision is blurred.

_And now you think so,_  
_That I'm going to stand by and say nothing ?_  
_Oh, yeah, you think so,_  
_That I'm going to stand here,_  
_Watching you go through your delusions,_  
_And let you do anything ?_

I don't say anything when we are on the other side. Just like me, you're far too secretive.

Projected into the past, Nebula programs the coordinates in our ship and we are like kids. Flying in space seems unreal and I feel lucky to accomplish that with you.

When we are on Vomir, I moan in front of the mountain to climb and you laugh. The hope of success allowed you to regain a slight taste for life. I'm glad to hear that.

However, our excitement is quickly calmed when we understand the dilemma that awaits us. We are thinking and we both know that it is the best decision.

With our hands tied together, we discuss it and you whisper to me at the end that you're not sure we agree.

My mind is protesting.

_Tell me, why are you doing this?_  
_Why don't you stop?_  
_You're screwing yourself up._  
_You seem to like it._

I protest in my heart that you might, for even a moment, consider sacrificing yourself. Your family is waiting for you. That's why you're here.

I'm exasperated by your chivalrous mentality. I shake my head slightly. I can't imagine letting you jump.

You put your forehead against mine and I know the battle to change your mind will be tough. We're both terribly stubborn.

_Why, why don't you understand_  
_That it's not true all that,_  
_That you won't come back_  
_If you go that way?_

I'm telling you, it's my job to do it. Let my past actions define perfectly my sacrifice. I thank you for all you have done for me. I don't see myself leaving this world without doing it.

Nevertheless, despite my arguments, I know you and I know that you are far from giving in.

_And now you think_  
_That I'm going to stand by and say nothing?_  
_Oh, yes, you think so._  
_That I'm going to stand here_  
_Seeing you running around in your delusions_  
_And let you do anything?_

Yet you whisper to me, "you win", and my heart leaps into my chest. It seems too simple.

Then, suddenly, you destabilize me with a crotch sent as a traitor and you put me on the ground. I find myself, surprised, lying on my back.

You expect me to promise to tell your family that you love them. It's not knowing me well.

_Think about it, you're leaving._  
_You've got the wrong ship,_  
_You broke your drift,_  
_You're going down._

You probably forgot that I never give up. I'm stubborn. Even more so for a reason that seems justified to me.

My hands always on your uniform, I also throw you to the ground before I get up. I'm not giving you time to come to your senses and shoot you with my widow bites. That's all you deserve. You can tell your family yourself that you love them.

I quickly rush to the cliff, convinced that it's over but you're sending me one of your explosive arrows.

You can't help it.

Propelled hard into the air, the landing is brutal and all my left side hurt me. You then throw your bow in front of me while looking at me before rushing towards death and I feel my chest about to burst.

_And you forgot me._  
_Didn't you think of that?_  
_You just left me_  
_The right to shut up._

Shocked, I watch your body run into the void and it only takes me a second to understand how to stop you for good. How to stop you from ruining your life. How to allow you to see your family again.

I'm standing up, running, jumping and sneaking up on you by triggering the cable device on your belt. You never could fight me in hand-to-hand combat, I certainly wasn't going to let that happen today. You shouldn't even tried.

_And you don't think so,_  
_That I'm going to stand by and say nothing?_  
_Oh no, don't think so,_  
_That I'm going to stand here,_  
_Watching you die in your delusions,_  
_Watching you do anything?_

Suspended in the void, I see that you are now tied up and safe. And I know I won.

Nevertheless, your hand refuses to abandon me. You are giving me your tearful, guilt-filled eyes into mine. Then I know you could hold me for hours, juste not to watch me die.

I implore you to let go and you refuse. I understand how hard this must be. But time doesn't wait and the other avengers are counting on you. On me. And on this stone.

I sway and my feet fall on the rock of the mountain. I hear you crying while the impact of my jump doesn't allow you to keep me. You're devastated and in my heart, I hate myself for imposing this visually painful experience on you. To see my body soon lying down, inert at the bottom.

I feel strangely fallen. The seconds seem endless to me. However, despite what you must think, I don't blame you for trying. I am even light-hearted and relieved to sacrifice myself for you... My last thinking is for your family, which, I hope, you will find again.


End file.
